HOME!!!!

After 20 days of hospital food, and antibiotics and driving back and forth, and fevers and medicine and little boys asking who is going to be home in the morning and wondering when counts are going to go up, we made it! Jake was released from the hospital yesterday. No fevers for 24 hours and his white count finally decided to kick into gear and up his ANC to 300. To say our kiddo was excited would be an understatement. He gets to go to school and do all of the things he has wanted to over the past few months. His transplant was pushed back a week because it took so long to get his counts to go up. So. He has not only one but TWO weeks at home. He will be undergoing many tests over the next two weeks, but who cares! He is home. And feeling a little bit normal. And doing the things a normal kid should be able to do. And we are so happy!

Four Years

If you were to ask me four years ago, where I thought we would be at today, I can honestly say, we never in a million years would still be dealing with cancer. I would have pictured three happy, healthy, crazy boys. Today marks the four year anniversary of finding out Jake had leukemia. He has now been fighting for almost half of his little life. This has taken our family in a direction that I never could have anticipated on seeing. When I was a little girl thinking about the kids I would one day have, I never pictured a little boy with no hair, sitting in a hospital for days on end, wondering when the end is going to come and what that ending will actually be. Life has not taken us in a direction we could have ever foreseen. That being said, it may sound strange, but I am grateful for the trial that we have had. We have learned so much more than I ever thought possible. And the blessings have far outweighed the trial. Sometimes those blessings are difficult to see, but they are there. And they continue to come on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong. I hate having to see this nine year old little kid sitting as sick as can be for days on end. I truly wish he never had to know what having cancer is like. But he does. And as difficult as it has been, he has taught us so much. He has done better than most adults could ever expect to do. These little kids are amazing and we can learn so much from them. So. If you ask where we will be four years from now, I am staying positive. I am picturing three healthy, happy, crazy boys. One a teenager. (scary!) One eleven and our baby will be getting baptized. And no one will be in the hospital. And we will be running and riding bikes and swimming and going to the lake. All of the things little boys should be able to do. That is where we will be four years from today.

two weeks and counting

Another day. Another day down. Still in the hospital. We are on day 14. Feels like day 114. Jake has done great. Mom and dad... not so great! Just kidding. I think it has been harder on us than it has been on Jake. You get a little stir crazy sitting in a hospital days on end. But at least we get to leave for a little bit every day. This poor kid is stuck in one room and cannot leave. He calls it his 'prison'. Which in a way it is. The last couple of days he has started getting a little bit frustrated and is ready to go home. And you cannot blame the kid in the least bit. I am going crazy and I am allowed to leave. All things considered, I could not be more impressed with him. It just gets a little bit more difficult at night when it is time for bed.

Things have been pretty calm the last week. We did have an exciting day last wednesday. Jake had a reaction to platelets. It came on extremely fast. His whole body was covered in hives and it got kind of scary for a minute. His heart rate shot up to 188 and the hives started going into the back of his throat which made it a little difficult for him to breathe and to swallow. It is strange to see about six doctors and nurses suddenly swarm into your child's room to make sure he is okay. After a dose of steroids and benadryl, he was sound asleep and hive free.
(This picture does not even do it justice. Poor guy was covered head to toe)


He started spiking a fever again a couple of days ago and is complaining of a sore throat. Which means more antibiotics and keeping a close watch on him for bacterial infections. Counts are still very low. And they don't seem to be going up anytime soon. We hit two weeks today, so hopefully sometime soon they will start going up. Fingers crossed.

Some of the highlites from our week include:
Video games of course! Cole and Crew love to come up and play. We spent most of sunday up here as a family. It was so fun to listen to the three of them. They sat and loved on each other and just had fun together. They even got Jake out of his bed to play simon says. We had him doing jumping jacks and dancing around the room. It was a good day.

We watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy, which the kiddo loved

He has had numerous blood transfusions and platelets given. I have lost count...somewhere around four or five.

Two real, live, awesome cowboys from the leukemia and lymphoma society came and sang to Jake. They even brought him his own cowboy hat. (If you ever need to hire someone for entertaining, they are awesome! There email is craig@hiredguns-lls.com)


Great grandma Reese came into town

Gigi and Pa came to see us



Jake got to draw and paint a ceiling tile for the hospital.


Lots and lots of legos

And lots of different visitors have come. (I have not been all that great with taking pictures, so unfortunately I don't have pictures of everyone)

Easter Sunday, Easter Bunny

This easter turned out to be much different than any other easter sunday we have had. Last year, we were laying by a pool in palm springs. This year, we are split up all over the place. Jeff and Jake are in the hospital. While, me, Crew and Cole are at home.

Crew and Cole woke up and searched for their Easter baskets.



They enjoyed modeling their new church outfits and 'cool' guy sunglasses



After church we headed up to the hospital to visit with Jake

The Easter bunny visited him too. Someone brought them the sacrament and gave Jake a primary lesson. And the hospital gave him an easter basket and some legos as well. He is quite spoiled up here actually.



The boys watched a youtube video on the crucifixion and resurrection



We played war and obviously had to spend some time with video games. We face timed with gigi and pa and nina.



And took some easter pictures.



And then, one of our cute neighbors offered to come sit with Jake so we could go home and eat dinner together as a 'partial' family. It was so nice to not have to split time with Jeff and we could both leave the hospital together. (THANK YOU CAMERON AND MICHELLE! You guys are awesome!)

I came back up to the hospital to spend the night with our cute kiddo. And he was bouncing off the walls. It took awhile for him to settle down, but is now fast asleep in bed.

This easter was also different in the fact, that instead of thinking about easter egg hunts and a bunny and baskets, my whole thought process was focused on why we celebrate easter. Because, really, it is all I think about anymore. I am so so grateful for the knowledge that we have of the plan of salvation. I am so so grateful for a Savior. I am so so grateful that because of Him, we can be a forever family and if for some reason, our little kiddo is called home early, we can see him again one day. And that thought is constantly on my mind. I don't think there is any way for it not to be. Because things happen. And even though I want it to go one specific way, there is no guarantee that it will. Because of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, I know that whatever happens, things will be okay. And for that I will always be so so grateful.

good news... FINALLY!

FINALLY! We have had some good news come our way! Jake's biopsy came back negative. And we could not be more grateful! We are right on track for his transplant in just a few short weeks. Is it weird that a part of me is excited for it to get here? Because then we can start counting down the days until this is behind us. We will still have a very long year ahead of us, but at least we will be on our way there.

Yesterday was a rough day for Jake. He had fevers on and off all day and just did not feel well overall. All of his blood counts have dropped very low. He received platelets and had another blood transfusion. His ANC has dropped down to a zero. But, that is good because now the only place it has to go is up. And if it goes up, he gets to go home! He also had that highly anticipated PEG shot. Irish has been his nurse all week, and Jake has been trying to talk him out of giving it to him. He realized that was not going to work so he changed tactics and finally got to the point of telling him how he wanted the shot to be given. He wanted "it to be totally numb and lots of emla cream and hot packs and cold packs and to make it so it would not hurt at all." And he did AWESOME! We were so proud. It was the best he has ever done. (although that may be attributed to the anti anxiety meds they gave him.) He only cried during the shot and did not even need to be held down.
He was started on antibiotics because of the fevers and had an allergic reaction to one of them. See how red he is? They gave him a huge dose of benadryl and it knocked him out in seconds. He slept from 6:30 at night until 9:00 the next morning. Crew and Cole even showed up about 7:00 and he did not budge. And we all know how quiet Crew is not!


Today has been much better. Now that we are finished with chemo there have been no more fevers and he has even been able to be de accessed for most of the day. We have just been lazy. Video games and movies and legos is pretty much what our time has consisted of.

Painting easter eggs


Visiting with Elliot therapy dog. Jake was in heaven.

Last Week

These were supposed to go up before the last post. But of course I never got around to it. We made sure we played hard the days before Jake was admitted. I think they were worn out by the time we were done!

Jake got a big surprise on Friday. This is his new friend Zach. Zach has had TWO bone marrow transplants and he has become one of Jake's new best friends. We met him at a leukemia and lymphoma society dinner about a month ago and the two of them got to talking about video games and snowboarding. Zach surprised Jake with not only a brand new snowboard, but two pairs of boots, a coat, hats and two video games! To say Jake was excited would be an understatement! We told him we would take him snowboarding right before his transplant if we can make it out of the hospital. It is one more reason for him to fight through this thing and get outta here! He talks about learning to snowboard constantly. And it is the one thing he wants to do before his transplant.


We went swimming at the rec center. It took awhile to convince Jake no one would care if he wore a bandanna in the pool. I have come to realize he does not like being noticed or being different from other kids. That is why the no hair thing has been such a huge issue. The boys all played hard, but about an hour in, Jake got tired and cold and got out to rest. His little body just tires out much faster than normal. He did end up getting back in but was exhausted for the rest of the day.


We went miniature golfing. Again, I have three extremely competitive children! Cole has to be first and he claims he got three hole in ones. While Jake and Crew whack the ball as hard as they can. I am thinking next time we will try a driving range and then it won't matter if the ball ends up in the water or off of the green!


We played at the park with the five kazillion other people who thought to take advantage of the spring weather.


I think that their favorite day was saturday. We rode our bikes to Murray Park.



We stopped at the playground and let the kids run for awhile.


On the way back they spotted the infamous Murray Park Hill. Jake wanted to roll down it, so we stopped. And watched our sweet boy try to run up the hill. (I have it on video. I will post it if I can ever get around to it.) It was just one more reminder of what the poor kid has lost. At one point, he had to stop and crawl up it. But. He was not discouraged in the least bit. He just sat and giggled and laughed the whole way up. For which I am so grateful.


Cole has become a daredevil and thought it would be fun to ride his bike down the hill. Scared me to death, but he did it about ten times. He LOVED it.



It was a good day. And we love those good days. We will take what we can get!