Jamieson family

Ugh. It has been a long week and it is only tuesday. I feel like the Little Engine That Could and repeatedly tell myself, "I think I can, I think I can." It has become a mantra at our house. The last week has gone semi well. A lot of ups and a lot of downs as well.

Clinic on friday went well. ANC was a whopping 2400. I am still shocked it can go from 100 to 2400 in a matter of seven days. Jake did not gain any weight which was another shocker considering how much food he is packing on. He did have to receive plasma due to some low something in his blood. (I know. I know. That explanation is awesome.) Apparently, the PEG he has received can cause his body not to be able to fight off blood clots. Whatever it was they test for was low, so he got plasma along with another dose of the PEG and vinc.


He enjoyed the game cube and ordering lots and lots of food while we waited.


We also found out that he will have to not only have a bone marrow and LP next week, but they are going to have to biopsy the testicle that the cancer was found in. It has not gone down as much as our doctor had hoped it would. If leukemia cells are found there, he will have to have radiation done. We should get the results back next Monday. I am very very nervous about this. It is one more unknown thing that we may be getting ourselves into. And it is scary.

Saturday, we had fun watching Cole in his basketball game.

We spent the afternoon outside playing soccer and baseball. My little brother is on a mission in Brazil and thought it would be fun to send the boys a slingshot. They had fun seeing if they could hit the fence with the marshmallows I allowed them to shoot. When they tried shooting with rocks, I put my foot down. I don't need another visit to the emergency room at the moment.


I even talked Jake into going on a bike ride around the block. Our hands froze, but it was so great to get outside for a bit. It was nice to feel a little bit normal for just a second. Because the rest of the time, I am not sure what is going on! I feel like I am still living in a dream and one day I will wake up from this nightmare. And then I realize it is real. And it is hard. I know it was hard last time. But I don't remember it being quite so difficult. It is a good thing I have Jeff. He is the one person that seems stable through this ordeal. I am so grateful that I have him to lean on.

As of today, video games have been officially banned due to a nine year old boy that cannot seem realize that it doesn't matter if you win or lose, it is all just for fun. Instead, we have Mr. Yell-a-Lot and Can't Calm Down. I am so tired of the word 'steroid' I want to scream. As of right now, he has only two more days of taking them. At least the fight to get him to take his meds is very rare now. Instead, he gets angry in other ways. It is so frustrating because on the flip side, he is the sweetest boy you will ever meet. He brought a random note to Jeff last night telling him how much he loves him and left him some tic tacs on his bed and has written me two valentine notes today. He can be such a sweetheart. Which makes it even more difficult to watch the not-so-sweet-Jake. I hope I don't sound horribly negative. Because things are good. We have been very blessed. I know that it could always be so much worse. I am so grateful for these four boys I get to have in my life on a daily basis. I am grateful that Jake has not had some of the side effects he could have gotten. I am grateful that my other kiddos are healthy and right now, that is all that matters.

This kiddo finally allowed me to take a couple of pictures of him without his hat on. He will rarely take it off now. His hair still has not completely fallen out yet, but in the pics you can see the spots where it is gone. It is all rubbed off in the back as well. (Funny story... we were talking about letting other people see him with no hat and he told me, "I don't care if Roger (his piano teacher) sees me bald, cause he is bald too!" Apparently he does not realize that there are quite a few men who are balding. He makes us laugh.) His little cheeks are also starting to get puffy. Not nearly as much as they did last time, but it is still a noticeable difference.