Control

Things have been much better the last couple of days. We have come to the realization that Jake is fighting for control. And who can blame him? His whole world has been turned upside down and he gets what is going on this time around. He knows what is happening and is trying to figure out a way to do things his own way. He is refusing to eat and refusing to take any medication. He keeps telling us his tummy hurts too bad, but more than that, I think it is something that he has control over. As the day has gone on today, it has gotten a little bit better, but his appetite is still not what it should be on steroids and we worry that he will start to lose weight again. The only thing we have going for us is that he remembers the feeding tube and HATED it. But when we told him that if he continues to lose weight, we will be forced to give him a feeding tube again, he just replied with, "So what? I don't care." He is too smart for his own good. Sweet boy. It is harder on him than anyone else. We have answered many 'why' questions the last couple of days. "Why me?" "Why do I have to take medicine again?" "Why can't I go to school?" It has been a never ending battle trying to explain why Heavenly Father would allow him to get cancer not only once, but twice. Other than the constant battle of meds and eating, he is good. He feels well most of the time and was even running around and playing with cousins last night. Hopefully he can stay this way for awhile... we will see. I am keeping my fingers crossed that the good days will outnumber the bad and so far we have been lucky. Only one awful day so far. And we are still taking it only one day at a time. So, who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Here are some pics getting chemo on saturday up in ICS. We had fun watching Pirates of the Caribbean, playing Batman on the Xbox and reading the new Percy Jackson series. He also ordered room service. Twice. Five hard boiled eggs and six pieces of bacon later, he was done.